In the western world, we are so focused on what it is that we want, it tends to become the most frequently asked question in our quest for happiness. But more often than not, it’s the most irrelevant of all.
Getting what we want rarely leads to more happiness. Getting closer to it may come with a variety of pleasant feelings, but the moment you reach something, is also the moment you lose the longing for it. The loss is in the gain.
Over and over again, we fight for things that don’t bring us peace. Because we answered the wrong question. Because we asked the wrong question to begin with.
Have you ever gotten everything you asked for and still, something was lacking?
Have you ever gotten the opposite of what you asked for and still felt as if you had gained something?
Instead of ‘what do I want?’, ask yourself: ‘what do I need?’.
Silence your mind. It doesn’t know how to answer this. Wait for your heart, your belly, or your entire body to speak. Your inner wisdom will give you something pure, true, and important.
When you’re given an answer, you may not like it. It may not be nice. It may not be comfortable. It may not even be something you want. At least, not for right now. What you need will fulfill you in a way a want never could. The want usually stands for a much deeper need that fulfilling the want itself never could fulfill. A need that is bound to remain undiscovered until you dare to invite it in. Fulfillment is an inside job.
Getting what you want may give you a full house, a full bank account, or a beautiful picture.
Getting what you need gives you a full heart and a beautiful life. It nourishes, nurtures, and sustains you. And ultimately: it will give you what you TRULY want.
So: what do you need, right now?